My Sanity Is Threatened

Is this happening again? Not again, please. My sanity is being threatened. I hope this reaches you in one piece same way I am hoping for a quick end of social distancing.

The world is losing health and wealth arguably. Will the loss of the sanity of writers go unnoticed? I, for one, am lacking the bouts of inspiration that comes with lack of restrictions. Every day I struggle with myself. I know that I must continue writing. I throw myself into books these days, voraciously devouring what still interests me. It doesn’t stop my mind from flapping restlessly in search of an escape.

I depend on freedom to write, now that my freedom is threatened, my writing suffers. Many a time, I have started writing and ended abruptly because it doesn’t just feel like it. When I am not reading or scribbling what I am uncertain of where it will end up, I think of my life. This new pastime of mine has driven me to find myself.

Every day as the confirmed cases increases, my anxiety heightens and mental stability depletes. I had told someone that I feel that we are facing a war not a pandemic. I long to be free even though I am not caged.

I still hope you get this. It’s a wonder I have not discarded this writing. I can’t give what I don’t have. I have no story to tell except, the untold story counts too.

My aspirations are at a standstill, I try not to think of it because it drives me near depression. It’s true that I have a lot of time to think about my life and savour my accomplishments but time is still a ticking bomb waiting to explode.

It might be a new day after this lockdown because the effect of social distancing on me can’t be overemphasized, that is, if I make it alive, with my sanity intact. Only few things have remained the same, outstanding amongst these is my love for those I hold dear. I should go now, my aunt who lives few compounds away, just across the road is here. She brings the liveliest news about COVID-19, I say so because she refuses to believe the beautiful promises of the pandemic if no vaccine is found soon. Oh dear, I also have to prepare dinner, it’s getting late.

See you when next my writer’s block grants me the pleasure of bleeding from my heart to you.

Doctors are Fostering Neocolonialism

Nigeria is still being colonised, doctors are not helping matters. It’s true that we gained our independence two scores, a decade and nine years ago, almost three scores now. We have remained in dependence, a more polite word is underdeveloped.

The world powers continually use economic, political, cultural or other pressures to control or influence our country. The intellectuals eagerly dance to this music _ willingly enslaving themselves in the pursuit of a brighter future and economic stability. The founding fathers of our nation, solemnly affirmed to “…Give me liberty or give me death!” We, the children of that country, so conceived and so dedicated that be now, have also sworn that the yoke of freedom is too heavy.

Doctors have willingly subjected themselves to this new form of slavery, jumping at the littlest opportunity to leave the country. “The new wind is blowing through this continent, and whether we like it or not, this growth of national consciousness is a political fact. We must all accept it as a fact and our national policies must take account of it” (Harold Macmillan, The wind of Change, 1960), we must not be confused about what freedom entails.

Indifference is not a response nor a beginning, but an end. I know a handful of doctors are planning to leave the country in its present state. Those are the handfuls fostering neocolonialism _ willingly enslaving themselves.

It’s a new month, new decisions are to be made.

My Heart Cracked A Little On 30th November 2019.

A smile dances on my lips each time I see a trim rich chocolate hourglass being in the mirror. It’s the description I like to give my reflection.

I have never being in a true relationship, I like to think so because it’s the truth. I think of finding love as how one soughts for a job.

Once I had found a job, I assumed I had found love. The pay was good, incentives better and working hours near perfect. I mean he was caring, lovely and we bound so well that I built a castle in my dream land. He was King, I was Queen. It was scary because I had not even fallen in love.

I was startled from my dream on 30th November, 2019. I woke up with a jolt and my heart cracked a little, but it hurt like sixty.

A job can not be love, love can be a duty. I love you, it’s my duty to mankind. I still love myself, I still love what I see in the mirror; the trim rich chocolate hourglass , me.

INDEPENDENCE OR IN DEPENDENCE

Today is the nation’s independence , I wonder if we are really independent or just in dependence. I would like to still belive in the dream of independence as long as a white man doesn’t sit in Aso rock as president .

Nigeria is no longer a colony but she is still being colonised .

Neocolonialism is proof that we are in dependence not independent , our intellectuals keep getting brain drained , our currency value falling , the social and economic unrest is on the rise and today still remains our Independence day . Nigeria , is a country whose eyes have seen trying times and her lips have tasted the bitterness of slavery in all ramifications and she has had more than a fair share of hardship .

It doesn’t diminish the worth of what the great men , living and dead tried to conceive five decades and nine years ago . Nigeria was birthed in the flames of injustice , for all we know she could have been the ashes of justice . Nigeria is a young woman who can barely stand on her own ( in dependence ) but it matters little as long as she belongs only to Nigerians , she is deserving of independence .

I am a Nigerian , a proud one at that . Let’s make a toast to independence believe me the wine tastes less in dependence .

A toast to Independence , no more in dependence .

My dream is a blue-yellow bird that sings and flies occasionally . I was born free and I hope to die so .

Growing up as a child , I was filled with curiosity which I sated by burying myself in a lot of books . My name is Divine Amaewhule Chimmakwa , an ardent follower of all works of literature . My childhood was filled with laughter and happiness that rung true . Tomorrow is my Nation’s Independence , I am a Nigerian it’s also a toast to my freedom from in dependence .