My Sanity Is Threatened

Is this happening again? Not again, please. My sanity is being threatened. I hope this reaches you in one piece same way I am hoping for a quick end of social distancing.

The world is losing health and wealth arguably. Will the loss of the sanity of writers go unnoticed? I, for one, am lacking the bouts of inspiration that comes with lack of restrictions. Every day I struggle with myself. I know that I must continue writing. I throw myself into books these days, voraciously devouring what still interests me. It doesn’t stop my mind from flapping restlessly in search of an escape.

I depend on freedom to write, now that my freedom is threatened, my writing suffers. Many a time, I have started writing and ended abruptly because it doesn’t just feel like it. When I am not reading or scribbling what I am uncertain of where it will end up, I think of my life. This new pastime of mine has driven me to find myself.

Every day as the confirmed cases increases, my anxiety heightens and mental stability depletes. I had told someone that I feel that we are facing a war not a pandemic. I long to be free even though I am not caged.

I still hope you get this. It’s a wonder I have not discarded this writing. I can’t give what I don’t have. I have no story to tell except, the untold story counts too.

My aspirations are at a standstill, I try not to think of it because it drives me near depression. It’s true that I have a lot of time to think about my life and savour my accomplishments but time is still a ticking bomb waiting to explode.

It might be a new day after this lockdown because the effect of social distancing on me can’t be overemphasized, that is, if I make it alive, with my sanity intact. Only few things have remained the same, outstanding amongst these is my love for those I hold dear. I should go now, my aunt who lives few compounds away, just across the road is here. She brings the liveliest news about COVID-19, I say so because she refuses to believe the beautiful promises of the pandemic if no vaccine is found soon. Oh dear, I also have to prepare dinner, it’s getting late.

See you when next my writer’s block grants me the pleasure of bleeding from my heart to you.